The following information on marriage equality is adapted from the South Carolina Eqaulity Coalition website. 

What is the Federal Marriage Amendment Act
and Why Does it Matter?

Why Marriage?  Why Not Civil Unions Or Legal Documents To Protect Rights?

Can’t You Already Get Married in Vermont, Hawaii, San Francisco and Massachusetts?  How about Canada?

Some Responses to Arguments Made Against Same-Sex Marriage

Just Don’t Talk About It … why do you need to TALK about it?

Should We Compare Our Struggle With The Civil Rights Struggle of African Americans?




What is the Federal Marriage Amendment Act
and Why Does it Matter?

What Is It?
Marriage in the United States shall consist only of the union of a man and a woman.  Neither this Constitution or the constitution of any state, nor state or federal law, shall be construed to require that marital status or the legal incident thereof be conferred upon unmarried couples or groups.   HJ Resolution 56, The Federal Marriage Amendment, was introduced by first-term Representative Marilyn Musgrave of Colorado.

Current Status
As of February 23, 2004 it has 113 cosponsors (106 Republicans, 7 Democrats)  in the House of Representatives.  Senate bill SJ Resolution 26, which was similarly worded, did not receive enough support to move to a vote. President Bush announced that as a way “to start the general election campaign on a fresh issue,” he was endorsing the Federal Marriage Amendment.  

Why Does It Matter?
The crux of the issue is this:  conservative Legislators do not want the Constitution of the United States’ guarantee of “equal protection under the law” to apply to GLBT people.  They want to change the Constitution of the United States before we get to the Supreme Court because they’re afraid (especially after the sodomy decision) that the Supreme Court, which is bound to uphold the Constitution, might rule in our favor.

Contrary to popular opinion, America has never been majority ruled.  We’re ruled by a Constitution to which all laws are subject.  Judges all have to swear to uphold the Constitution.  Since the language of the Constitution favors our full equal rights, the race is on to change the Constitution before we get there.

That is why there is a Federal Marriage Amendment.

There are 1,049 federal laws (read the govenrment report) and hundreds of state laws which come with the civil institution of marriage in the United States.  GLBT people currently lack the option to marry afforded every other American citizen.  These laws translate into real economic and emotional realities.

Talking Points:
Over 1,049 federal laws discriminate against GLBT people. These are but a few laws which are unavailable to same-sex couples: 

-  Health and retirement benefits (for partner and non-  
biological/adoptive children)
-  Medicare and Social Security
-  Sick or bereavement leave
-  Hospital visitation
-  Medical decision authority
-  Exemption on inheritance, gifts, shared health benefits
-  Right to sue for wrongful death of partner
-  Pensions, workers’ compensation, death and spousal benefits
-  Access to courts in the event of divorce
-  Ability to sponsor one’s partner for immigration
-  Protection of one’s home (Medicaid spend-down provision) if one partner has to go to a nursing home
-  Lack of second parent adoptions in most states
-  Right to non-biological/adoptive children in event of biologic/adoptive parent’s death
-  Right of children from our unions to have financial support and a continued relationship in the even of separation
-  Legitimate status of our relationships and our children’s status of being a marital child.

· The Constitution of the United States is a covenant entered into between the government and the people of the United States.  Throughout American history, the Constitution has only been amended to expand the rights and liberties of all Americans:  to abolish slavery, give women and young people the right to vote.  It’s incomprehensible that this covenant should be broken to enshrine gay and lesbian people as second class citizens.

· Adopting this Constitutional amendment would take away the power of the courts to protect individual rights.  Currently, the Constitution promises “equal protection under the law” for all citizens.  If this amendment goes through, equal protection under the law will not apply to gay and lesbian relationships.  Who will be next?  Once you open up the “exception” to the promise of “equal protection under the law” – which has always protected America against leaders like Hitler or Saddam, and always protected America against excluding Jews, or Shiites, or African Americans, or women from equal protection under the law – who will be next? 

· The amendment not only denies marriage to GLBT people, but it also specifically prohibits civil unions, domestic benefits and partnerships, or any rights associated with relationships between same-sex people, and offered to all other Americans.   President Bush, on February 24th announced that he supported the FMA (Federal Marriage Amendment) but would consider Civil Unions as an option.  The PRESIDENT KNOWS THAT CIVIL UNIONS ARE NOT ALLOWED IN THE LANGUAGE OF THE FEDERAL MARRIAGE AMENDMENT.  The “legal incident thereof” clause in the Amendment has been arduously studied by both sides of the argument and both sides agree, the FMA precludes Civil Unions.  The American people are deliberately being misled.
Interestingly, February 23rd the religious right group Alliance for Marriage (allianceformarriage.org) PROUDLY displayed a grid explaining how the FMA would disallow Civil Unions or any alternatives to it.  February 24th, after the President spoke, that page has disappeared.  What hasn’t disappeared is that in the minds of the best legal minds in the U.S., the FMA eliminates the possibility of Civil Unions.

· As the Massachusetts Supreme Court recently ruled, “Limiting the protections, benefits, and obligations of civil marriage to opposite-sex couples violates the basic premises of individual liberty and equality under the law protected by the Massachusetts [and United States] Constitution.”

· Some say marriage is a 3,000 year old tradition.  Polygamy is actually much older, but even if it were true that marriage is a 3,000 year old tradition, so was slavery, the subjugation of women and banning interracial marriage … just because it’s tradition, doesn’t make it right.

· Marriage is - and always has been - a wholly secular institution in America since its inception.   In S.C. even Notary Publics can marry men and women.  The states authorize religious organizations to perform marriage ceremonies … not vice versa.

· Some religions currently won’t marry divorced people; some won’t marry interfaith couples … religions will still be able to set their own standards about whom they will and won’t marry.  This is a civil matter – not a religious one.

· Many – if not most – same-sex couples want to marry for the same reasons opposite sex-couples do:  to have or raise children, to offer their relationships stability and commitment, for emotional closeness and intimacy, monogamy, and establishment of a framework for a long-term relationship.

Why Marriage?  Why Not Civil Unions Or Legal Documents To Protect Rights?

Why Not Civil Unions?
·  Civil Unions (and domestic partnerships) basically say that GLBT people are “separate but equal.”   As African Americans found out, there is no such thing as “separate but equal” … “separate is inherently unequal,” to borrow words from the Supreme Court decision of Brown v. the Board of Education. 

“Separate but equal” didn’t work for African Americans and it won’t work for GLBT Americans.  It doesn’t work because it violates the basic premise of equality on which America is founded.

· Be aware!   The Federal Marriage Amendment language not only prohibits marriage but also strikes down civil unions and domestic partner registries.  GLBT folks didn’t push this all-or-nothing agenda (although we might have), conservatives did.
Although GLBT people did not provoke this fight for our Constitutional rights, now that it has been thrust upon us, we must fight for marriage with all our might and all our money … our future is riding on it.  And, America’s future is riding on it.  Because who and what will come next?  Who next will be deemed unworthy of “equal protection under the law?”   What other erosion of the separation of church and state might surface?
 
· State Civil Unions are not, and would not be, recognized by the federal government if the FMA passes.  Even if a change is made to allow state Civil Unions, state Civil Unions do not offer the 1,049 rights and benefits that the federal government grants to married couples.  The federal government controls the laws with most social and economic clout.

·  The Mass. Decision says that civil unions do not carry the immediate cultural significance or touchstone as the word marriage.  If you tell people you have a civil union document, they don’t know exactly what this means, what it provides for.  If you say, “we are married” everyone understands.

Legal Documents
· Even the few legal documents which would make a difference cost lots of money.  Why should GLBT people be the only citizens who must hire lawyers to receive protections guaranteed for free to every other American?

·  You cannot – no way, no loophole, not possible – create a legal document which will pass your estate (house, money, cars, pension, social security, etc.) to an unmarried partner without being subject to estate tax – up to 53%.

· You also can’t create any legal document (none, zero, zilch) which will allow spousal insurance, Medicare, Social Security, or any of the aforementioned rights which come only with marriage.

·  If, like most Americans, you die without a Will, your assets will go to your nearest biological family member(s).  You have no legal relationship with your partner.

· Even if you remember to write a will, it’s typical in same-sex relationships for the deceased member’s biological family to challenge property and assets left to a same-sex partner. 

· Finally, the “asset” GLBT parents fear losing most is our children.  No legal document can be created which will currently protect our children against custody battles from heterosexual, biological parents.  No legal document will protect our children from the economic and social consequences of our lack of legal status.  And, no legal document is guaranteed to provide the non-adoptive or non-biological parent in our relationships visitation rights in the event of the dissolution of our relationships.  If the Federal Marriage Amendment passes, there will only be more custody cases because we will be seen in the eyes of the law as unequal  and less than under the law.

Can’t You Already Get Married in Vermont, Hawaii, San Francisco and Massachusetts?  How about Canada?

· Yes-and No. Only Massachusetts allows same-sex couples to get married—and the couple has to be resident in Massachusetts. No out-of-state couples are given licenses to marry. This is currently being challenged in Massachusetts courts. Vermont allows same-sex couples to enter into “civil unions,” which grant the same state benefits and responsibilities as marriage, but cannot confer the 1,049 federal benefits and responsibilities. Additionally, no other state—as of today— recognizes the civil unions performed in Vermont or the marriages performed in Massachusetts, so if you move from either state, the rights given you under your civil union or marriage there are not portable to a different state.

· Same-sex couples can legally marry in Ontario and British Columbia, Canada.  Probably in the near future, you will be able to legally marry anywhere in Canada.   However, currently your marriage will not be recognized in the U.S.  There are attempts by many states (including S.C.) to write into their state constitutions that they will not honor same-sex marriages in any other countries, or any other states.  This violates the “full faith and credit” clause of the U.S. Constitution discussed earlier. 

· The Netherlands and Belgium have ended marriage discrimination against same-sex couples.  Taiwan is considering legalizing same-sex marriage, and Brazil allows same-sex couples to inherit each other’s pension and Social Security benefits.  Worldwide, 14 countries, including South Africa, Israel and Britain, protect same-sex couples for the purposes of immigration.

Some Responses to Arguments Made Against Same-Sex Marriage

It’s About Procreation
-  the sterile and elderly aren’t prohibited from marriage.  Ask John Kerry, George Washington, Bob and Liddy Dole and millions of others.
-  a miniscule percentage of people in the United States enjoy healthy sexual relationship solely for purposes of procreation
-  there have been GLBT people for all of recorded time.  It would seem then, that we are a part of God’s plan.
-  marriage is about two people who love one another having the right to commit to one another, raise a family and have that union and family recognized as equal under the law.
-  there are 1-6 million children being raised by GLBT Americans.  Who cares how they got here, they deserve equal rights as America’s children.

Love the Sinner but Hate the Sin 
-  Be very suspect of anyone who says this to you.  Your sexual orientation is a part of who you are and defines important things such as who you fall in love with.  How can anyone say, “I love you but I hate the part of you who falls in love?”  Doesn’t make much sense.   It’s usually a candy-coating for self-righteous judgment and   prejudice. 
-  Many, many religious denominations and religious people don’t see GLBT sexual orientation as a sin and perform same-sex unions:  Reconstruction and Reform Judaism, Unitarians, and many United Church of Christ, MCC, Episcopal U.S.A. and Quaker.   Lutherans, Methodists and Presbyterians are examining their official positions in meetings this year and there is much support for our inclusion.
 -  There are 209 admonitions against greed in the Bible and 7 possible ones about same-sex behaviors (not about  sexual orientation);  when the religious right start paying 30 times more attention to greed, GLBT people may believe that biblical literalists are sincere. 
  -  When Biblical literalists, spend as much time condemning divorcees and adulterers, then maybe GLBT will take their professions of commitment to literal interpretations of faith seriously.  When Biblical literalist don’t eat shell fish, do support selling their daughters and owning slaves, don’t touch pig skin, don’t wear different fibers together, kill their children when they’re disrespectful (all biblical mandates) – then, maybe, we’ll believe they come from a purer place.           
  -  “Love the Sinner but Hate the Sin?” … mostly an orthodox Christian comment. Better yet, skip the judgment and do what Christ instructed, “Judge not lest ye be judged” and “Love one another” … very clear messages to the self-righteous.

Religion Can Transform Sexual Orientation

Every major national health organization has condemned “reparative” therapy including:

American Academy of Pediatrics
American Federation of Teachers
American Medical Association
American Psychiatric Association
American Psychological Association
The Interfaith Alliance
National Association of School Psychologists
National Association of Social Workers
National Association of Secondary School Principals
National Education Association

-  Exodus Ministries was founded by two men who were struggling with their homosexuality.  They were each married with children and struggled for years against their God-given need to be in relationship with someone of their own sex. After years of tortured living, and creating much self-loathing in other same-sex people through Exodus Ministries, they claimed their right to be authentically who they were, and took responsibility for the damage they had created in their    marriages, and in their work.  A look at Wayne Beson’s book on the Ex-gay ministries is filled with this same story … because, sexual orientation isn’t transformable.  Sexual orientation is part of creation and immutable for the vast majority of GLBT people.  And, IF it were a choice, aren’t Americans guaranteed the right to choose under the law? 

- find links related to religion and sexual orientation on our links and resources page

Just Don’t Talk About It … why do you need to TALK about it?

We have to talk about it because …  
-  It isn’t about sex!   It’s about who we love … and who we love is central to all lives, straight and gay.  Ask straight coworkers to imagine not being able to have pictures of family on their desks.  Or, challenge a heterosexually married friend NOT to – by word or behavior – make it known that he/she is married for a week.  Improbable that they could do it, and they certainly wouldn’t like it!    And yet, that’s what “just don’t talk about it means.”

-  Our love is not dirty, taboo or shameful.  We don’t want to talk about sex!  We want to talk about our weekends and not change pronouns; we want to share our happiest and saddest moments.  We want to be authentic.

-  Currently, it’s “easier” on most straight people, if we “pass as straight” and just don’t talk about “it.”  That’s very similar to the way most white people felt when African Americans started speaking up about inequality.  The objective isn’t comfort; the objective is much deeper and more important.  

-  We have to get from “We tolerate you” to “We are you.” The only way to do that is through talking about it.  Otherwise, the myths and stereotypes will represent our lives and we will never be seen for who we are … people as dull and exquisite as straight people.
  

Should We Compare Our Struggle With The Civil Rights Struggle of African Americans?

There are similarities and huge differences.  The African American struggle for civil rights was accompanied by mammoth hardships with which no other contemporary struggle for equal rights should ever be compared.  GLBT people would be ill-advised to represent our struggle as of the same magnitude.

Nevertheless, there are similarities between the two movements in terms of the Constitutional laws being challenged, and in terms of the nature of the opposition.   When President Bush said that he didn’t like what he was seeing in San Francisco with people “violating the law” by getting married – well – RIGHT!  Lots of white people didn’t like seeing Rosa Parks at the front of a bus, or the Greensboro Five at a lunch counter either.     

"Recognizing the right of an individual to marry a person of the same sex," Chief Justice Marshall of the Mass. Supreme Court asserted in her majority opinion, "will not diminish the validity or dignity of opposite-sex marriage, any more than recognizing the right of an individual to marry a person of a different race devalues the marriage of a person who marries someone of her own race."
 
-  A few of the many differences between the two movements include:   the systematic enslavement of African Americans – first literally, and then the economic and cultural enslavement of the Jim Crow years, up to the institutional racism and cultural travesties of today.  GLBT people have never had to experience derision on such a scale. 
-  A difference experienced by GLBT people is isolation.  Very often, there is no family, school, peer or church support for GLBT people.  And, GLBT parents too often deal with the possibility of losing their children in biased custody cases.

Thankfully, many respected African American leaders have had the courage to speak up on our behalf.  Everyone from S.C. Representatives Gilda Cobb Hunter and David Mack to South Carolina’s U.S. House Representative James Clyburn as well as the following:  Coretta Scott King, Carol Moseley Braun, Al Sharpton, John Lewis, Henry Louis Gates, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Peter Gomes.  Representative John Lewis said:

 “This discrimination is wrong.  We cannot keep turning our backs on gay and lesbian Americans.  I have fought too hard and too long against discrimination based on race and color not to stand up against discrimination based on sexual orientation.  I’ve heard the reasons for opposing civil marriage for same-sex couples.  Cut through the distractions, and they stink of the same fear, hatred and intolerance I have known in racism and bigotry.” 

He also said, “Some say they are uncomfortable with the thought of gays and lesbians marrying.  But our rights as Americans do not depend on the approval of others.  Our rights depend on us being Americans.”

Check out our links and resources page for information, various points of view and to find out what's going on in your state.